Fantasy Baseball

I know there has to be legions of folks out there that share Stan's and my pain when it comes to fantasy sports. Fantasy Football is life. We talk about it constantly and try to make it relevant year round. Does it really matter how playoff performances will impact next season's draft or how the combine ups rookies chances of getting first year playing time? Not really, but it doesn't mean it's not worth droning on about it. We love it.Unfortunately, we split views on the rest of the fantasy sports. Stan doesn't bother to trudge through half-assed efforts in fantasy hoops and baseball. I on the other hand tend to waver back and forth. Typically, it seems much better to play something than nothing at all. The big problem is, it just isn't that fun. The daily games are super annoying, because you constantly have to fill the roster with whatever burlap bags of heavy sand you carry on your bloated roster. In fantasy football, you get to ponder over matchups all week to tweak it for the perfect balance of your best guys. Basketball and baseball involve braindead clicking all the fucking time and it's so unbearably monotonous. Sure, you can make a big trade here and there and pick up a semi-fun gamble like a Devin Harris as the Nets' fill-in for Jason Kidd at the point, but it doesn't change the fact tht you're starting dead weight on a nightly basis.Anyway, what is the longwinded point of all this? Well, it's time to gear up for fantasy baseball and we can only assume some of you out there can't decide if you want to invest in 5 months of tedious roster filling and laying in the lowly 10-12th place puddle like a bum drunk on Prestone. So, we have a couple of suggestions of ways to make your season somewhat more interesting, particularly if you don't really know shit about playing fantasy baseball. There's the obvious, but always fun strategies like the regional approach (i.e., all Asians), the all-whites, the jaded pasts, and so on, but here's a couple new ones. Keep in mind, it won't be easy to draft all these guys, so you might need to muscle your into these teams. Here we go...The Van HalensWhat you give up in creativity here, you make up in leather pants and sick finger tapping guitar solos. Plus, this one gives you a strong theme and a good team. The rules are simple; you can use any instance of the names David Lee Roth, Eddie or Alex Van Halen, Mark Stone, or Michael Anthony. It's that easy. You're looking at a contender here.Potential Quality Players: Alex Rodiriguez, David Wright, Derek Lee, Alex Rios, David Ortiz, Carlos Lee and so on. It's not hard to pull a contender out of this strategy. If you're are overwhelmed by the legions of marginal MLB talent, this is not all that bad of a strategy to weed out the universe a bit.You can actually employ this approach to a countless number of your favorite themes. Let's try one more.The Island Made Me Do ItYou had to see this one coming. This is the exact same idea, but involves the characters from Lost. Unfortunately, there aren't many guys in the league named Sayid, but you can still come out just fine here.This is a little less interesting, but there's a shitload of characters in Lost, so you'll be just fine. Unfortunately, you're forgoing most of the chicks here as Kate and Claire aren't gonna do much for you in fantasy seamball. Nevertheless, here's some of your options.Potential Quality Players: Jose Reyes (Hurley Reyes), Michael Young (Michael), Ben Sheets (Ben), Aaron Harang (Claire's stupid baby), and John Lackey (Locke)The Lovely LadiesThis gives you a little creativity bonus for the throwback reference to Baseball Stars and you have some decent options to field a good team. With this one you are forced to stick with names that can be used for women. You can do quite well here.Potential Quality Players: Corey Hart, Torii Hunter, Prince Fielder (Prince is ambiguous and also a symbol), Hunter Pence, Adrian Gonzalez, Chris Young, Hanley RamirezThe Little LeaguersThis one is more dumberer, but also fun. You are restricted to soley utilizing players who still retain their 8 year-old names. I always find it somewhat endearing when people never give up on the "y" or the "ie" version of their names, but some people find it appalling. Either way, this is another moderately entertaining option and another potential winner.Potential Quality Players: Chipper Jones, Manny Ramirez, J.J. Putz, Rickie Weeks, Kenji Johjima, Billy Wagner, and Chone Figgins. OK, so Chone Figgins doesn't really belong, but it's a marvelous name, so it had to go somewhere.So, there you have it. Thesse methods provide you with a little entertainment value and more importantly, they provide an excuse as to why you suck so bad. Subscribe to us